The Plight of the Working Mom

Is that there's never enough time.

I know I'm not the first woman to navigate having a full-time job and an infant, but I am amazed again and again by how hard it is to manage work life and home life. There are so many things I've either had to give up on or delay because I simply have no time to do them.

Example Number One: Birth announcements. I have been looking forward to creating and sending out a birth announcement for Auggie since well before I knew we were having an Auggie. As I grew up I loved looking through the baby book my mom made for me and seeing the wonderful way that my parents announced my coming to all their family and friends. I want Auggie to know that we equally cherished his arrival. I also love receiving birth announcements in the mail in the same way that I love pictures at Christmas. They give people a peek at the new cute little baby as well as let parents feel proud of their bundle of joy. ... However, despite truly looking forward to this celebration of Auggie's life, I've now given up on it. I know it sounds silly, but thinking about how Auggie isn't going to have a birth announcement makes me kind of depressed. But I simply didn't have the time to make one, or even order one online. And now it's way too late - he's nearly 5 months old! Auggie is no longer a bundle of joy, he's an 18lb brick of joy.

Example Number Two: Thank you cards. If you haven't gotten yours yet, it's coming. Perhaps by next year...

Example Number Three: Baby dedication.. Yet another way to celebrate Auggie's birth, and dedicate him to our Lord. And when do I have time to plan this, coordinate a date for family to drive down/up to Champaign, plan food for the event, etc? Certainly not now.

Four: I need to return the box of maternity clothes that my wonderful friend so generously let me borrow. Having these clothes saved me hundreds of dollars, and I've had them washed, boxed up, and ready to go since Auggie was 4 weeks old. (Here's a shout-out to Jenni for washing and folding them all, because I wouldn't have had time for that either.) And yet the box is still sitting in my basement.

Five: I feel constant guilt about what I'm not doing with Auggie when I'm sitting at my computer working from home. I know it's good for him to have some Auggie hang-out time, but I wish I could read to him more, talk to him more, and basically spend more time with him when I'm at home. Is he going to have attachment problems because I didn't pay enough attention to him? Is he going to have problems learning how to read? What if he doesn't develop social skills because I didn't take him to play group? .. I know I'm exaggerating here - he'll be just fine, I do pay attention to him, I will have plenty of time to do these things with him, I'm sure he does feel loved - but guilty feelings do surface when I'm feeling emotionally exhausted like I am right now.

And there are bills to pay, a dog who needs her claws trimmed (they are ridiculously long), a gazillion friends I need to call (thanks for your patience!), e-mails to answer, plus a page long To Do List that only has two or three things crossed off. Did I mention finding time to hang out with Dan? And that he's juggling the same issues as a Working Dad?

Time to inhale. ... I'm doing the best that I can and that just has to be good enough. Exhale. Like I said, I'm sure there have been tons of moms feeling this way before me, and there will be more to follow. And I know I have it better than most. It just feels pretty tough from time to time.

Bedtime... Now that will feel good. :)

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Next morning edit: I'm feeling much better now that I've had a good night's sleep between today and those feelings. Today's blog post (if I get to it) will be about thankfulness.