Eland's Birth Story

I started writing Eland's birth story much closer to his actual birth and never finished. I guess that's just what happens when you have two. :) Here's my second attempt.

Eland Billingsley T. was born on Saturday, July 24, 2010 at 2:22pm. (Did that spoil the story?) His birth was fantastic. Truly, God blessed his entrance into this world so very much. We are unbelievably grateful.

Me, 10 days before Eland was born

Throughout my pregnancy, just like when I was pregnant with Auggie, we surrounded this little guy with prayer. We prayed for his birth, for the hospital staff present at his birth, for the perfect day, for a place for Auggie to be, and so on and so forth. And as we approached my due date, we prayed for labor to start on Thursday, July 22, and it did...

Let me back up a little bit. We live in Albuquerque, NM, and all of our family lives in Chicago, IL. (Boy do we miss them all!) My mom graciously offered to come out at help us after our little one was born. But travel from Chicago to Albuquerque takes planning, so she purchased plane tickets for three days before my due date, which was the 28th, meaning that she would arrive on July 25. So I wanted a baby before the 25th–big time! I wanted to make sure that not a minute of her time with us was wasted. And on top of that, Dan has every other Friday off, and he had Friday the 23rd off so it just made sense that our little boy needed to be born that weekend.

On Thursday morning while talking to my parents on the phone, my dad specifically prayed that labor would start. All day Thursday Dan later told me that he was very nonchalantly praying that labor would start as well, because he also agreed that the upcoming weekend would be perfect timing. And at 4:30pm, while I was driving to a friend's house to pick up a baby swing we were borrowing, I had my first contraction. I remember the moment perfectly: Blue skies, a hot sun, I was sweating as usual, and I was driving down Tramway Blvd. And just like when I was in labor with Auggie, I very clearly wondered If This Was It and waited patiently for more contractions. Sure enough, they continued.

They continued for a full 24 hours. These contractions were light and easy, just like my labor with Auggie. As soon as I got home I very calmly told Dan that labor perhaps had started. ;) All of the sudden we were a beehive of activity. Dan vacuumed, mopped, and cleaned. I chopped up the very ripe pineapple and watermelon sitting on the counter so as not to waste them. The swing cover went into the washing machine. We canceled Dan and Auggie's plans to go camping with friends, and instead forewarned those same friends that Auggie might be staying with them one night this weekend.

These tiny, cramp-like contractions continued through the night and all day Friday, and we continued our super-nesting. Dan and Auggie squeezed in a hike, and Stella and I escorted them just to the trailhead. The sun was bright, the skies were blue, and the mountains were just begging to be hiked on–a typically beautiful July day in Albuquerque. Later we went to the grocery store and stocked up on essentials like bread and milk. I continued to track contractions even as we waited in the check-out line. They were every 5 to 15 minutes apart, and still itty-bitty.

Dan and I discussed and decided that perhaps tonight would be a good night for Auggie to stay over at our friends house. Just in case. So we packed up all of his necessities, ate our "last supper" at home–pizza out on the back patio–and drove Auggie over to our friend's house. I felt kind of bad dropping him off because my labor was not obvious at all. I wondered if our friends even thought I was in labor, but I'm sure they didn't care. Their boys have tons of fun with Auggie and it would be a good time regardless. We said goodnight to our little guy and headed home. My itty bitty contractions just kept contracting.

We dropped Auggie off at 7:30pm just in time for his 8pm bedtime. This meant that we could do something we hadn't done since Auggie was born, go for an evening walk! (And flashing back to our Bradley class, walking is a great way to get labor going.) We leashed up Stella and enjoyed a fantastic evening meandering around our neighborhood. As it turns out, my labor really picked up while we were walking and by the end of our walk I literally had to stop and stand still with every contraction. I seem to be really good at relaxing while in labor, and the only way for me to breathe deeply and relax through the bigger contractions is to be still. I wonder what the occasional passerby was thinking when they saw us standing there. :)

Excitement was in the air as we made our way back home and wondered when our little guy was going to be born. Surely soon, right?? We made sure the car was packed and everything was place. Food was out for Stella in the morning and the house was sparkling. We decided that regardless of how excited we were, we should probably go through the motions of going to bed just so that we could at least catch a few winks of sleep. I made sure to have a snack first–gotta have that protein–and then off to bed we went.

I had a hard time sleeping after we turned out the lights. I was recording my contractions on my iPhone, which Dan later decided we will not do next time because apparently I was a little too obsessed, and watched them speed up to about every 2-3 minutes. They were also strong.

Let me stop a minute and tell you how I best labor. I best labor completely relaxed, with a very blah face (aka, a relaxed face), either propped up with pillows reclining on my back, or resting on the toilet. Toilet, you say? Yes, toilet. It's a fantastic place to labor, and I felt like when I was sitting on the toilet my hips were able to relax, stretch apart, and widen, and thus made a better birth canal for our little guy. I can handle some pretty big contractions with fairly little pain while in one of these positions. Stand me up during active labor and I will hurt. Make me walk, and I will hurt. If I have a tight jaw, clenched fists, or any other stress, and I will hurt. But take away any of those stressors and I'm in pretty good shape. (I feel like that must count for something because I can remember my mom saying that she never thought labor "wasn't that bad.")

Back to the story.. Flash-forward to midnight. I had been contracting either in bed attempting to sleep or on the toilet for the last couple of hours. According to my midwife, it's time to call the hospital when your contractions are strong and every 3-4 minutes apart. That said, it was time. So I paged the midwife on call and spoke to her shortly thereafter. I'm pretty sure she didn't think I was in very active labor. She sounded skeptical, probably because I didn't sound too distressed, and suggested that I take a bath, eat a little bit, take some more time, and then come in whenever we felt it was time.

Honestly, she was right. I wasn't ready. It was strange though, because the most trusted indicator was there: I was having strong contractions every 2-3 minutes for several hours. But looking back I didn't feel as far along in as I did before Auggie was born. It's hard to explain, but there's this feeling when you're really working hard in labor, and the strong contractions that I was feeling were in fact strong and quick, but I didn't have the right hard-working feeling. And yet, it's hard not to pay attention to the numbers.

I took the midwife's advice. I ate and I took a bath. Labor continued on strong, which meant that this was active labor. I got back in bed and slept reasonably well in between those fast contractions. Finally around 3:30am as they continued, I woke Dan and asked him his opinion. Contractions had been strong and 2-3 minutes apart for at least 5 hours. According to the books, it was definitely time to go in. We didn't hurry, but we decided that it was time. Dan showered, I ate an egg, some toast, and apple sauce. We let Stella outside.. And then we headed out the door around 4:30am.

Leaving for the hospital at 4:30am

Driving to the hospital felt very surreal, kind of like leaving early in the morning for a road-trip while it's still dark out. You're excited and awake, but well outside of the normal bounds of life. I remember the glowing yellow lines and dark pavement of the road as we headed towards the Interstate. And I also remember trying to decide whether being in a moving vehicle while in labor was better or worse than being in a moving vehicle with appendicitis. Appendicitis is definitely worse–although I'm certainly not saying that driving while in labor was a walk in the park.

We arrived at the hospital around 5am and parked. We decided to use the bathroom in the lobby and walk around a little bit before heading up to the maternity ward.. And then it happened–my labor completely stalled! My contractions slowed to once every 10 minutes! WHAT!?! I couldn't believe it! Dan and I lapped the hospital grounds several times before deciding that walking wasn't working. Every 10 minutes, still! We were perplexed! This certainly never happened with Auggie.. What was going on? Dan and I decided that perhaps we should take a nap in the car to see if that did anything. After 20 minutes of napping and only 1 or 2 contractions we decided it was time to go home. It was 6:20am.

The sun was rising on our way home, also very surreal. I was unbelievably frustrated. The numbers had said it was time, and I was having strong contractions, so what was the deal? I have no idea. The pink skies were beautiful but I was having none of it. We got home and I laid in bed and did my best to nap in spite of the frustration for a few hours. Dan napped a little bit and then worked a bit.

I texted with my sister and a friend explaining the situation. Both were incredibly encouraging and really helped me calm down and just wait. My friend Jill, who happens to be a doula, told me that every labor and birth is like a fingerprint meaning that they're all different. Even though this labor was identical to Auggie's up until it stalled, that was okay, and I just had to deal with it. Exhale...

At this point my contractions were speeding up just a little bit - maybe 5 to 7 minutes apart? Around 9am I made my way downstairs and hung out with Dan. The morning was actually perfect. There were storms in a neighboring state (or a hurricane somewhere?) making the weather completely unusual for July in Albuquerque. Clouds gathered and rain drip-dropped all morning long. Soft diffused sunlight came through the windows, the sky-light click-clacked with the rain, and watching the water drops fall into our little blue swimming pool outside the windows was rather meditative. Stella came by for the occasional pat/lick, and Dan baked delicious cookies.

My contractions continued as I laid back on the couch, and at some point Dan and I decided to evaluate. They weren't coming as fast as they were before, but they were certainly strong. I think Dan could tell I was really working hard, so he suggested that perhaps we head over to the hospital even though my contractions weren't super fast. At that point I had accepted the situation and decided to roll with the punches (much prayer involved), and agreed. We re-gathered our things, let the dog out again, and got back into the car.

I don't remember much about this drive, but we certainly made it to the hospital. Maybe a bathroom stop before heading upstairs? We made it to triage and experienced labor in the hospital anew. Auggie's birth was a chaotic rush, while with this little guy there was a much more relaxed pace to everything.

The nurse came in and asked me to pee in a cup. Ha! We definitely stopped in the lobby because I remember it taking awhile before I could satisfy her request. :) After that I laid on the triage bed for awhile and they monitored our little guy for about 20 minutes to make sure everything was ship-shape. Have I mentioned that Eland kicked throughout almost all of my labor? And almost all of my pregnancy?? I though Auggie kicked a lot, but Eland takes the prize. I never counted kicks because I never needed to, and even during labor there was no worry–he was alive and well in there!

Dan and I actually enjoyed having the monitors on because for once Dan could see how big my contractions were on the print-out. It was all very interesting. And yes, I kept having contractions, about 4-5 minutes apart.

My nurse read my birth plan, and the midwife on call came in, and I was delighted to find out that while she wasn't my midwife, she was the one that I saw once when my midwife was out of town. She was going to be fantastic and I was so relieved that she was there! She and my midwife were right on the same track with low- or no-intervention births. Complete relief!

I informed Maren, the midwife, that I wanted a calm birth. Auggie's was pure chaos with the nurses and midwife vigorously coaching me to push–it was completely unnecessary considering he was almost born at home. I didn't want to be told to push, and I didn't want to be laying on my back either. She took it all in and really seemed like she'd to her best to help my have my desired birth. She asked if my water had broken yet, and to tell you the truth, I couldn't tell. I didn't think it had, but I had a strange sensation down there, so she wanted to check just in case. It turns out my bag of waters hadn't broken yet. Next, she checked to see how dilated I was. With a big smile on her face Maren told me I was "a good nine centimeters." Whoo hoo!! For how calm I was throughout all my contractions, I'm pretty sure that she and my nurse were shocked. She proceeded to warn me that the nurses were going to be a buzz of activity when they find out that there's a 9-cm woman in triage. And I later found out from my midwife that she did her best to warn them and asked that they stay calm so that I could have the calm birth that I wanted.. Apparently this doesn't happen often? Dan and I were relieved that I was so far along.

A very bouncy nurse came in with a wheelchair and pushed me to my labor and delivery room. She informed me that while I probably could walk just fine on my own there was no way they were going to let me in case the baby came out in the hallway. Seriously?! Like that could even happen?!

My labor and delivery room was amazing! There were huge picture windows that overlooked the mountains–a deep purple-blue wonder towering in the gray clouds. I could see the entire range from my room. In fact, with the bathroom door open, I could see the entire range from the toilet. I went to the bathroom immediately. Dan later told me that while I was in the bathroom the nurse who was already in the room while I was being pushed in told my nurse that the wrong woman was here. There was supposed to be a woman who was 9cm and I clearly was not. My nurse reassured her that despite how calm I was, I was in fact 9cm. Thank you, God, for helping me relax in labor.

They monitored our little guy and everything came up ship-shape. I requested a birthing stool and a squatting bar for the bed. My nurse went to find the one birthing stool on the floor, and my midwife just kind of sat there waiting for the second stage to start. It was really odd, actually. Laying on the bed with my midwife just kind of hanging out with Dan and me. I quickly realized that she was sticking around because she knew things were going to start happening soon. I headed over to the bathroom again because laboring on the toilet just felt good.

This was certainly the calm before the storm. Everything was ready–the instruments, the birthing stool with blankets underneath, the baby's warming table thing–everything was ready for our little guy to be born. I should add that the birthing stool was no "stool" in the usual sense of the word. It was a cube made of metal tubing with one end missing and styrofoam padding wrapped around the middles of the top three bars. It was no more than 18 inches tall. Certainly not a "stool" in any normal sense of the word–but it was golden.

This birthing stool picture is the closest I could find,
but it looks luxurious compared to the one I actually used.

My labor and delivery nurse came and checked on me in the bathroom. (Have I mentioned that she was just as awesome as my midwife? They both rocked!) My contractions were continuing, and now I could feel just the slightest urge to push. She and the midwife let me labor a little bit longer in the bathroom.

After two more pushing contractions they gently suggested that I move to the birthing stool. And this is when the "fun" began. It's amazing to me how our bodies automatically know how to have a baby. God knew what He was doing when he created us. Within another contraction or two I was in full swing stage two labor–the pushing part. My body took over and it pushed. And pushed. And pushed. And for me the pushing is intense. I don't have a choice, it just happens. I groan while I'm pushing, and I think I got pretty loud there towards the end. However, in between contractions I'm completely lucid and present. I'd ask Dan to get me the water bottle so I could have a drink. And as soon as I could feel another contraction coming on I'd let everyone know and bam! Full-on pushing!

My midwife was on her knees in front of me, my nurse was on her knees next to me, and Dan had one hand supporting my forehead and one hand pushing on my lower back. (Doesn't sound terribly easy, but considering what I was doing, I wasn't too worried.) Dan later told me that he could feel our little guy making his way out when he had his hand on my back. Totally cool! My midwife was constantly reassuring me that she could see the bulge of my bag of waters/baby's head and that he was very close.

After 10 minutes or so of intense pushing I was getting pretty light-headed. My butt and legs were starting to get a bit numb from the bars of the stool, and the intensity of it all was getting to be a bit much. Between contractions my midwife asked me if I'd be more comfortable on the bed. I thought about it and remembered how much I didn't like pushing on the bed when I had Auggie. At that moment I decided that this was how it was going to happen, and no matter how numb my legs were I was going to have this baby on the stool. My midwife had another nurse brought in just in case. Then my nurse waved a little alcohol swab in front of my nose which seemed to help me stay with it, and told me to take deep, deep breaths. I remember with Auggie that the nurse gave me an oxygen mask at some point during the pushing process. I end up panting a lot, which means I'm not getting enough oxygen, and leaves me light-headed. Note to self: next time breathe deeply the entire time.

With just another two contractions or so our little guy was right there. The circle of fire was just as awful as it was with Auggie, but that's apparently just part of how I birth my babies. One more contraction and his head came out. And then the contraction ended so I stopped pushing. Ha! This is the one moment when my midwife and nurse coached me to push. So I took a deep breath and kept pushing even though I wasn't having a contraction, and whoosh–out came Eland!

Eland Billingsley T was born at 2:22pm on July 24, 2010. In his bag of waters!

Yes, you read that correctly, Eland was born in his bag of waters. It never broke! Apparently there's a term for this: it's called being born "en caul" and its frequency is something like 1 in 1,000. How cool is that?!

What's pretty funny, too, is that the extra nurse, along with everyone else, was really encouraging me while I was pushing, and when Eland was born, she said "That's a girl! That's a girl!" in an intonation that sounded like she was saying we just had a girl. It confused the heck out of Dan and me since we were expecting a boy, and we did in fact have a boy, she was just saying "That's a girl!" to me. Ha..

Okay, back to the story. I didn't see this part because it happened underneath me. Dan said that our nurse immediately swiped open the amniotic sac so that Eland could start breathing. And breathing he did! He cried up a storm! I was a bit shaky, so Dan helped me hold him. We didn't want his cord cut until it stopped pulsing. His cord was fairly short (I believe Auggie's was too), so I held him with help about halfway up my belly. We waited about 5 minutes or so until my midwife was sure that the cord was done pulsing. This is really important because a good portion of the blood from the placenta will transfer to the baby after the birth, which makes for a healthier baby. Dan cut the cord and I was able to lift our little guy higher.

Eland was bright red and strong from the beginning! He was loud! He was perfect in every way! We were thrilled!

After a baby is born all the other nitty gritty details don't seem to matter so much. Birthing the placenta is easy compared to the baby. In fact, nothing is a very big deal compared to the baby. Eventually I moved over to the bed with some help and let our little guy try nursing for the first time. It didn't take him long at all to latch and he was content. Dan and I just observed him, curious to find out who was in my womb for the past 9 months.

I ended up getting a decent set of stitches–they were pretty painful, but heck, I want to be stitched up the right way. I also ended up getting a shot of pitocin, but made sure that my midwife truly thought it was necessary. I was happy to receive it if she thought it was necessary, but didn't want to be given it just because everyone seems to get it these days.

After everything was said and done, it's time to smile.

During my stitches, we decided that it was time to clean Eland up a bit and weigh him.. He was 8lbs 10oz, and 21 inches long. And of course, still perfect in every way! What's interesting is that with both Auggie and Eland, I was told after their births that they looked like they were developmentally at 41 weeks. I'm positive that each boy's due date was accurate, so perhaps I cook them a teeny bit faster than average.

Eland's birth was unbelievable. It was calm, my labor and delivery staff couldn't have been more perfect, Dan was there for every minute, and even the room was perfect. God truly blessed every single part of Eland's birth. In retrospect, everything happened exactly the way it needed to–even when my labor stalled. If my labor hadn't stalled, a different midwife would have delivered him, and who knows how in line with my desires she would have been.

I also remember thinking after Eland was born that that's why women get epidurals. But never for a moment would I have changed a thing. Not everyone wants a natural, unmedicated birth, and that is completely, 100% okay with me. And frankly, some women simply don't have a choice. I think that so long as a woman is truly educated and knows what she wants, she should be given every opportunity to have that.

I feel so blessed that Eland's birth was everything we prayed for and more. It was calm, intense, and painful at times, but I'd do it again in a heartbeat. Just to meet that new little life in the end..

My boys!

Our new family!